Friday, December 12, 2014

Fraidy Cat! - Phobias - Chapter 2

Here we are again at the intersection of Allshookup Avenue and Wetmypants Lane. And by that I mean another round of phobias. I scream, you scream, we all scream. Things that frighten, give you the jitters, make you nervous, possibly terrify, and most certainly leave you with a queasy feeling in your tum tum. Sooooooo, here we go.

I love this one - Omphalophobia - Fear of Belly Buttons. I want to know just how many people walk into a psychiatrist's office and say, "My navel creeps me out!"

I also wonder if these might be people who also have Proctophobia - Fear of Rectums. I'm thinking folks who have Omphalaphobia and Proctophobia are screwed coming and going. Oooh, I'm so clever.

Speaking of Phobias, that would be bad to have in pairs, consider - Microphobia (Fear of Small Things) and Megalophobia, wait for it, (Fear of Large Things). If someone was afflicted with this pair they'd have to go through life ordering the medium size coffee (That's Grande at Starbucks). And of course, they would be fans of Baby Bear - not too big, not too small, but just right.

As bad as the last pair was, they're nothing compared to this next divergent grouping. Imagine having Medorthophobia (Fear of having an Erect Penis) coupled with Medomalacuphobia (Fear of Losing an Erect Penis). The only joke I can think of starts with the words, "On the one hand.....

Well, enough of these weird phobias. Let's get back to something sensible - Lutraphobia - Fear of Otters. 

And another sensible one - Pogonophobia - Fear of Beards

I will leave you with a phobia whose name makes so much sense that I'm surprised that it's not an everyday word. I'm talking about Fear of Long Words. Drum roll please: Hippopitomonstrosequipedaliophobia.

And with that I say good night to all and to all a good night. Ho Ho Ho.

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