Saturday, November 8, 2014

Sports Lists- Substances, Scandals, and Sucky Behavior.

This trio of lists is dedicated to sports, all sports and the nasty stuff that happens in them. Now, trust me, I wouldn't put just any trio of lists in front of you unless they were also fun. 

Performance Enhancing Substances - I think?

Strychnine - Yeah, the deadly poison. There was a time this stuff was thought the bees knees for success in running. In fact, there might be something to it.  In the 1904 Olympics, Thoman Hicks brewed up a brandy, egg whites and strychnine cocktail. He needed emergency treatment at the finish line and almost died. But he Won!!!

Donkey Hooves - Egyptian athletes (that's ancient Egyptian athletes) mixed ass hoof powder, oil, and rose hips to give them that little extra something. I'm thinking ass breath.

Sugar Cubes Soaked in Ether - In the 1870's pretty much every cyclist on the Marathon circuit (we're talking 144 hour races) was doing this trick and when that wasn't enough their coaches added cocaine and nitroglycerine. Oh yeah, peppermint thrown in for flavor.

Baking Soda - This one is still in use today. Called soda-doping it helps swimmers increase the Ph of their blood to counteract the acid buildup in the muscles. One side effect - soda-doping causes extreme diarrhea. 

Human Hearts - This one belongs to the Aztecs who had a thing for human hearts to begin with. Athletes would ingest heart flesh to boost prowess.

Guinea Pig Sperm - In the late 1800's Nutritionist and Physiologist Charles Brown-Sequard recommended an injection of this particular rodent sperm. He said the injection would not only make you stronger but would 'lengthen the arc of your urine'.

We all know of some of the big scandals: Boston Black Sox, Point shaving in basketball, Pete Rose. Here are a few scandals involving small time cheaters:


Rosy Ruiz and the 1980 Boston Marathon - A lot of people know about this one but if you're not one of them, here are the facts. Rosy set a new world marathon record 2:31:36. Unfortunately, she took the subway for part of the route. Soon, it was learned she cheated also in the New York Marathon the year before. To this day, although there is ample evidence, she denies any wrongdoing and refuses to return the medals. she also refuses to run the races ever again.

One Bad Bass Fisherman - In 2005, at the CITGO Bassmaster Central Open (first prize $10,000), Paul Tormanen won the coveted prize but not legally. His prize winning catch had been tied off the night before to a stump and just apprehended when the time was right. Unfortunately for Paul, a competitor had found his fish, and with the help of wildlife officials marked the bass. Paul was charged with fraud and barred from competitive fishing for life.

And now how about some just overall bad behavior. I think Ty Cobb's behavior in general was bad but then again here was a man who ran into the stands and beat up a man who had no arms. I mean c'mon.

Sucky Behavior - 

The Real McCoy - Boxing has had its examples of bad behavior: razors in the gloves, hitting below the belt, and of course fight fixing. But Charles 'Kid' McCoy took bad behavior to new heights. Once when fighting a deaf boxer, he simply dropped his gloves and pretended the bell had sounded. when his competitor turned round and headed for his corner, 'The Kid' snuck up behind him and knocked him out.

Red Auerbach - In the 1950's and 1960's Coach Auerbach of the Boston Celtics was perhaps the worst host in the history of basketball. He made sure that at least on of the toilets in the visiting team's locker was stopped up and overflowing with human excrement. He also made sure the heater in their facility was cranked up to ridiculous heights so the team would be dehydrated. 

Eddie 'The Brat' Stanky - With a name like Stanky, I suppose you are predisposed to bad behavior. Second baseman Stanky perfected the 'Stanky Maneuver' where he would jump up and down, wave his hands wildly to distract opposing batters. Eventually, Commissioner Ford Frick made a rule forbidding such dubious behavior.

Spain's Para-Olympic Basketball Team. This is really bad behavior. In 2000, the Spanish Paraolympic basketball team won the Gold medal. later it was learned that 10 out of the 12 players were not mentally challenged at all. They got to keep the medal.

There are obviously other severely behavior challenged individuals in sport, and I would love to hear about any that come to mind. Also, I'm in the market for the most unusual mascot. And finally, I would love to hear about sport extremes: Shortest man to ever play professional basketball, heaviest person to play baseball, tallest woman in any sport.

That's all for now. Once again, avoid the yellow snow.

No comments:

Post a Comment