Pigs, Horses, Cows, And Sheep...and Bartering Farmers

Three farmers met at market and each made an offer:

Farnsworth to Cubbington - "I'll give you 6 of my pigs for 1 of your horses, and then you'll have twice as many animals here as me."

Nebish to Farnsworth - "I like the way you do business. However, I'll give you 14 of my sheep for 1 of your horses, then you, my good man, will have three times as many animals here as I."

Cubbington to Nebish - "I can play this game. I'll give you 4 cows for 1 horse, then you'll have six times as many animals here as myself."


How many animals (don't worry about types of beasts) did Farnsworth, Cubbington, and Nebish bring to market?

Tricksters: Loki and Maui - Chapter 2

Loki - Trickster God of Asgard

Let's just get this out of the way. Loki was an asshole. He comes across as one of the creative forces of the universe but also as an evil force bent on harm. He is the father of some of the most malevolent creatures in all of Norse mythology: the horrible goddess Hel, the monstrous wolf Fenrir, the world serpent Jormundgand. When the most beautiful of the Norse Gods, Baldr, had a vision of his own death, Frigg the Queen of Asgard made every living thing in all the realms promise not to harm him. Somehow, mistletoe was overlooked. Loki, finding this out, and jealous of Baldr, arranged for a sprig of mistletoe to pierce Baldr's heart. When Odin commanded that all creatures in the all the realms weep and mourn Baldr, only Loki refused to do so. This refusal created the inevitable Ragnarok, the end of all things.

Maui - The Polynesian Trickster Demi-god 

Unlike Loki, Maui (for whom the island is named) is for the most part good. His tricks seemed to be all in the arena of helping the people be all that they could be. Maui tricked the goddess of fire into revealing the secrets of her element. He tricked the sun into slowing down (I guess it was just whizzing around way too fast) so folks could have enough light to get things done. He also used his penis to stop a tidal wave that threatened to destroy the islands - which tells you something about the Polynesian culture. Maui is credited with the actual raising of the Hawaiian islands. He even died to save the people from a horrible she-monster, (he was killed by her vagina; cut in half no less) but in doing so brought death (I guess until then folks were immortal) in the world. Bummer.

I Love the Blues!!!! Ana Popovic Kicks It.

I recently acquired two heart-stopping blues albums: Unconditional and Can You Stand the Heat by Ana Popovic. I now find myself listening to these songs again and again. To say they're good is to admit to a lack of word power skills.

Out of Belgrade Serbia, Popovic can do it all. She writes songs with grit and heart. She sings with an authenticity and power that transforms every song into a revelation. And she plays guitar (both acoustic and electric) like she's channeling any number of Rock and Blues legends; Eric Clapton, Albert King, And now I'm going to go out on a limb - Jimi Hendrix.

She has released 4 albums in total (The first was Still Making History and the second a live album An Evening at Trasimeno Lake ). I went to Popovic's web site and sampled songs from each of these - and yes I loved them - but I was especially interested in her first release, Still Making History. I wanted to see what this extraordinary woman sounded like when she first sprang out of the gate. Would she have the same sound almost a decade ago?

She did not. I sampled a song Hungry and immediately smiled. It reminded me of another debut album released over forty years ago. I'm talking about the first James Gang album that introduced the world to Joe Walsh. Hungry took me back Funk 49 and Walk Away.

A year later when she played at Trasimeno lake she was already evolving the sophisticated chops and powerful vocals she would display on Unconditional and Can You Stand the Heat. By the time these gems were released, Ana had morphed into a force to be reckoned with.

I'm going to leave you with a simple way to see if I'm jiving you about this artist. Find her web site. Sample a few songs from each of her albums. Be prepared to be blown away.

Merry Christmas all. Oh by the way, Ana was nominated for Blues Female Artist of 2014. I just thought you might like to know.

Tricksters - Ananse and Coyote - Chapter 1

Tricksters have been common in world myths throughout history. They often bedevil their more serious brethren and mankind. They also provide lessons on how not to take yourself so seriously. And in rare cases, are essential in creation and the survival of human kind. Below are just two of my favorites.

Ananze - The Spider Storyteller, Ananse is responsible for many of the stories that have been handed down from West African and eventually West Indian traditions. A few of these have been re-translated by american slave cultures into familiar tales, most notably the tales of Uncle Remus's Brer Rabbit. But first and foremost Ananse is a spider, and a cunning one. And like most tricksters he was eternally horny. He even seduced the Sky God's daughter. 

A few of Anase's tricks:

The Sky God's Challenge - When the Sky God (probably still pissed because Ananse seduced his daughter) insisted Ananse bring back something from Earth but wouldn't tell him what. Ananse tricked him into revealing it was the darkness, the moon,and the sun. Ananse brought darkness out of a gunny sack and no one could see anything. Then he brought out the moon and they could see a little. When he brought out the sun many of the animals were blinded by its glare. Thus Ananse invented blindness.

The Sticky Doll - Ananse tricked the High God Nyame (who never let any stories be told. He was a bit of a dick.) into letting Ananse be the the keeper and teller of all stories by capturing a fairy and bringing it to the High God. He painted a doll with sticky sap and set it in a meadow where fairies liked to dance.The doll had sitting in its lap some yam mash. A fairy came along and asked if he could have some of the mash. Ananse made the doll's head nod. When the fairy tasted the mash, he thanked the doll, who said nothing. The fairy was insulted and slapped the doll - his hand stuck. Thus Ananse brought the captured fairy to Nyame, who put Ananse in charge of stories. And thus stories were shared with the world. And yes this is the basis for the Brer Rabbit story, 'The Tar Baby'. 

 
Coyote - Inventor of Death. Because coyotes can be found throughout most of North America the Coyote Trickster is a staple of many of the plains and mountain tribes. Bored with the perfection of creation (people never got sick, never grew old, food was plentiful), Coyote tried his own hand at creating beings, who turned out only absurd and funny looking. This cracked up Coyote who laughed so loud he attracted the Attention of the Earth-Initiate, who had created the heavens and the Earth. When told that laughing at his poor wretches was rude, he denied doing it and thus invented lying. Then he approached the happy people of the world and convinced them that sickness, death, and competition were the best things ever (tricksters always have the gift of gab). Unfortunately, the first being to die was Coyote's own son. Thus weeping was invented.

I'm Afraid so, Captain - Wonderful, Marvelous Phobias - Chapter 3

More phobias, you say? But of course. Let's see what we can dig up.

Let's begin with a pair that Vampires might ascribe to:

Esophobia - Fear of Daylight.

Staurophobia - Fear of Crosses

And now a couple that I'm not really sure what they are. I'd love an explanation, dear reader, so if you know leave me a comment.

Walloonophobia - You guessed it, Fear of Walloons

Here's one that both delights me and puzzles me. Zemmiphobia - Fear of the Great Mole Rat. Really? This sounds like something a tribe in New Guinea might worship. "Oh Great Mole Rat, hear my prayer."

As a mathematician, I object to this next one most strenuously. Octophobia - Fear of the Number 8. Several questions come to mind, beginning with WHY? 

Compared to Octophobia, the next few make some semblance of sense.

Pteronophobia - Fear of Being Tickled by a Feather. I know what you're thinking. "That wouldn't be so bad." But when I think about it I'm always tied naked to a chair. Oh, did I reveal too much?

 Myxophobia - Fear of Slime. I mean come on, slime for pete's sake. The stuff is gooey, and drips from your face and is so hard to get off your pajamas.

Enosiophobia - Fear of Having Committed Some Unpardonable Sin. I'm not the only one that has this one, am I?

And now a few that just make me go Hmmmmmm.

Levophobia - Fear of the Left Side of Your Body. In an earlier post we discussed Dextrophobia - Fear of the Right Side of Your Body. So if you had that one and Levophobia you really would have nowhere to turn. Oh my God, I really am clever.

Linonophobia - Fear of String. If you're like me, you're sad for kitties who have this one. And maybe kite flyers. How about String Theorists?

Peladophobia - Fear of Bald People. For reasons I don't think I have to mention, I hope I don't get this one. I could never look in a mirror again. 

For this last one, I want you to imagine a world where everyone has  a Fear of Names. We wouldn't name our children. We address one another as "Hey you!". What would they put on our driver's licenses? I could go on and on, but you get the picture (oh yeah, that's what they'd put on our driver's licenses). This one's called Nomatophobia. Okay, one more. There would be no Alex Trebeck.

Goodbye for now. Be well and fear not.

Fraidy Cat! - Phobias - Chapter 2

Here we are again at the intersection of Allshookup Avenue and Wetmypants Lane. And by that I mean another round of phobias. I scream, you scream, we all scream. Things that frighten, give you the jitters, make you nervous, possibly terrify, and most certainly leave you with a queasy feeling in your tum tum. Sooooooo, here we go.

I love this one - Omphalophobia - Fear of Belly Buttons. I want to know just how many people walk into a psychiatrist's office and say, "My navel creeps me out!"




I also wonder if these might be people who also have Proctophobia - Fear of Rectums. I'm thinking folks who have Omphalaphobia and Proctophobia are screwed coming and going. Oooh, I'm so clever.

Speaking of Phobias, that would be bad to have in pairs, consider - Microphobia (Fear of Small Things) and Megalophobia, wait for it, (Fear of Large Things). If someone was afflicted with this pair they'd have to go through life ordering the medium size coffee (That's Grande at Starbucks). And of course, they would be fans of Baby Bear - not too big, not too small, but just right.

As bad as the last pair was, they're nothing compared to this next divergent grouping. Imagine having Medorthophobia (Fear of having an Erect Penis) coupled with Medomalacuphobia (Fear of Losing an Erect Penis). The only joke I can think of starts with the words, "On the one hand.....

Well, enough of these weird phobias. Let's get back to something sensible - Lutraphobia - Fear of Otters. 

And another sensible one - Pogonophobia - Fear of Beards

I will leave you with a phobia whose name makes so much sense that I'm surprised that it's not an everyday word. I'm talking about Fear of Long Words. Drum roll please: Hippopitomonstrosequipedaliophobia.

And with that I say good night to all and to all a good night. Ho Ho Ho.

What are You Afraid Of? - Phobias Chapter 1

I don't know about you but I have always been fascinated by Phobias. I have a few of my own, which I won't admit to at this time. However, this list is purely for fun. I have found some of what I consider peculiar fears. So without further ado. some phobias for you.

Here's one that seems to be on the rise. Coulrophobia - Fear of Clowns. Now you have a name for it.

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that most vampires have this fear - Alliumophobia - Fear of Garlic.

Here's an interesting one and I think I might have this just a little bit - Automatonophobia - Fear of ventriloquist dummies.

I love this one - Alektorophobia - Fear of Chickens.



Here is a trio that seem to be math related.

     
Apeirophobia - Fear of Infinity
     
Asymmetriphobia - Fear of Asymmetric Things: I think      Sheldon on Big Bang Theory has this.

Baraphobia - Fear of Gravity


Here's another one that made me smile - Consecotaleophobia - Fear of Chopsticks

Here's one that made me scratch my head - Dextrophobia - Fear of the Right Side of Your Body. How the heck do you get away from this one?

How about the Fear of Newts? - Batrachophobia

Here's one I can kind of understand - Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of Peanut Butter Getting Stuck to the Roof of your Mouth!!

And that's all for now. Stay tuned - or better yet, follow this blog - for more of what scares you. Merry Christmas. Unless you're afraid of that.